Moments of Realization!

So off he went to his home town without a word. I was on the verge of going to the station to say goodbye. Was scared to death on thinking what if I never get a second chance? (Though technically it would have been my 7th or 8th chance!) But I decided. I need to change into a new leaf! Or rather I need to be someone whom he expects me to be.

But this did contradict my inner self. 'I need to change' statement was something I was against to fall in love with a guy or even to make a guy like me. So took the time off to think what I need to know and do. Did I go wrong somewhere and if yes (Duh!) where did I go wrong?

Thinking this I turned on my TV. And there popped up my answer. The vodofone add actually opened my eyes. 'Making you feel special' tagline was all I needed. That's where I went wrong. I treated him like every other guy in my class. There was nothing he could say of me being his. I never made him feel special. I went out with other guys with lunch, when he had to eat all alone, made his call to wait while I was chatting with someone else, wished happy birthday to every soul I know sharp at 12, but accidentally missed his! So list went on....

But on the other way round, he treated me like an angel. I always felt so special. So that's where I went wrong.

So I majorly designed a plan and started executing it. And it's been working fine till today... After a long time I fought! :) And all my planning went down the drain cruelly in front of my eyes! :( But I will make it work out!! :)

P.S. Who broke the silence? As usual he did! he he... I wanted to be a good girl so thought of not contacting him till the date he said. But he called me back in a week and said he missed me!! Awwwww.... I love him! :)

The moment of Truth

When she told me that she has found the Jake in her life and Edward is yet to come, I was skeptical and thought too much of Twilight has made her gone insane. The main reason was, however, in Bella's life Edward was the one to come first. And, it was his love and lack of it makes her close to Jake and realize what her relationship with him was. So finding Jake without Edward was meaningless to me! I also thought it was foolish to compare real life with that of fiction.

But I did realize that it is possible to have reflections of fiction on to the real life. Because recently even I realized that I have Edward and Jake in my life too. I have been trying to brush off this thought for a long long time. I didn't want to feel that way. But it is real. Unfortunately a truth I have to conceal in me to the grave.

I was close to this, hmmm let me call him 'Prime', from the beginning of the college. He was a nice guy. Very friendly and helpful. He used to tell everything about him to me and I felt comfortable the same way with him. I was surprised in the start because I have never felt the 'Me' in me so real except in front of him. He seemed to accept me for what I am and supported me so much. It was easy to talk to him, share a joke, or even to confide my fears with him. It all came out so naturally. And I was happy.

And then my dear Mr. Odd came by. In the beginning when I was not accepting Mr. Odd's proposal, he or rather the entire class used to tease saying it was because of Mr. Prime. I used to laugh it off. Later when I became committed, Mr. Prime was happy for me. But slowly and constantly Mr. Odd wanted me to stop all sorts of contact with Prime. I thought he was kidding. But later realized he was not. He is a good friend of mine was all the defence I was able to give him. But Mr. Odd told me something else.

Mr. Prime has had a huge crush on me. He has told this to Mr. Odd when Mr. Odd was not expressing his love for me. So I realized, fine jealousy is the reason. Mr. Odd feared that I was more close to Prime than him. Possessiveness. I hate that word. I tried to make him understand. He refused. So in turn I made Mr. Prime understand. And he did.

Nowadays I don't even see him, though we sit in adjacent desks. But as soon as he enters the class, he sees me. I have noticed it. He smiles at me when I throw glances at him without Mr. Odd's knowledge. He asks my girlfriends whether I am happy. He is really a nice guy. I couldn't completely restrain from talking to him. So when Mr. Odd is not there for like few minutes around, we have bits and pieces of exchanges.

Today we had one such shorty conversation. He directly asked me 'Are you happy?'. I said, 'yes I am'. And inquired why he keeps asking this? He said he finds or feels that Mr. Odd is crushing me with lot of expectations. I am no longer the person who I used to be. The ambitious cheerful Ms. Even who helps all and makes fun is missing he said. Commitment requires sacrifice was all I could reply. He smiled at me. I miss you a lot Even. But as long as you are happy I will stay the way I am, he said and walked away.

It was at that moment I realized that even I have a Jake in my life. But my Edward is lot complicated!! But he is my life! :)

Though I really find this as cheating behind my partner, a very punishable crime in my dictionary, it will last only for few more days till the college closes it doors and we spread our wings to explore the world. After that Mr. Prime shall only remain as a good friend whom I missed in my life!

The Fight

Whenever we end up in a fight (which is like everyday) I shout at him to leave me and go find a better girl.

Whenever I say this, he stares at me for sometime and says don't say it. I know you are angry but think before you talk.
Whenever we leave after a fight without a word, he calls me first and initiates the sorry part!

All these days I have been taking advantage of him! Well, the time came when he started to make me realize. So this time when we fought something different happened!

Even: (At a shouting pitch!) Then leave me and go!

Odd: OK

Even: What do you mean ok!

Odd: It means I am leaving you. May not be finding a better girl... but leaving you!

Even: ..... You cant leave me just like that!

Odd: I can and I am.

Even: Bu....

Odd: I am leaving to my homeland tomorrow. Will be back only after a month!

Even: Oh.. That leaving huh... Ya I know you are leaving.. I will come to the station to send off.

Odd: Not just that leaving. I am leaving you for a month. And tomorrow you are not coming to send off either. Lets not talk for sometime Even. Without any disturbance, think why we are always fighting and also think whether you really mean it when you ask me to leave.

Even: Thta...

Odd: Nope... Don't say a word. You have never listened to anything I say. It's always been 'You'. It is maybe because even for me it's always been 'You'. For this month just think whether this has been right or wrong... Bye for now.

He just got up and left without a word!

So miss Even sat there dumbfound. And started to think! And the result will continue in the next post!! :)

Just a thought

My family would be really happy if I settle for a guy they are looking. It will be a happy ending for my family story as a whole! Then what was the use of being a outrageous girl all these years?? There must be black sheep right.. That's what makes every family story an interesting one! So let me be the one... It will be interesting to narrate my story to my kids in the future!! He he..

Role of Fate

Ms. Even lived a happy life in her dream land filled with fantasies, stars, moon, loving people, vampires, witches, magicians, and of course her never seen price charm... Since her reality was not all that great to live for!

She was in her own bubble. Not that she did not want to come out of it but she never had a chance or a choice. Her bubble consisted of her three family members and a close knit of friends, besides her work and her office!

Though she lived in a cosmopolitan city and most of her friends were outgoing and modern, she lived a traditional life to herself and a fake one for the others, so that she was not left out in the crowd. She loved to debate and help others in any manner she could. As I said earlier, she never can say no! Everyone around her loved her because she was such a sweet heart geek! :)

Mr. Odd lived a life of reality with lots of action. He is a spearheading persona where he wanted to be unique and the best in whatever he did. He never listened to anyone other than himself.

He did all the things that were found by man on earth for ridiculous fun. Booze, puff, drugs, chase, bike race, rowdyism, stalking, money transfer.... you name it and he did it.

He was from a not so hype city but still loved his place. He loved himself than anyone else (Until he saw Ms. Even!) And in his hometown no one dared to raise their hand in front of him. From sports star to college Chairman he was an all rounder. Everyone around him were afraid of him because he was such an exuberant character.

Now where did the fate play a role? She was almost 400 kms away from him. While her father was about to look a groom for her and he was lurking around with a job he dreaded, both of them decided to study further just like that. And they applied to the same college, got through, thus the journey began!

Well, in the description part I forgot to add one quality which was common to both of them - Short Temper! lol!

P.S. I know it all sounds so damn filmy! Unfortunately I cant help it! :)

About me!

I never knew I will fall in love! But hell yes I did! After all my years of wasted teens I finally fell when I was about to tell my dad to search a nice groom for me! Fate I would say! But it did knock at the right time or else I would have lost him.

I am a crack pot. Never taken life serious. Had only one ambition in life... to be a writer of some sort, though I scored the least marks in English through out my education. And yes.. the ambition has now become past tense. lol!

This blog is a brain child of my guy! Hmmm since me cant name him publicly I would call him Mr. Odd and me Ms. Even.

Odd in the sense he always stands out. He does everything differently. And when I ask him why... he simply says if I do something exactly the way that is needed then it will be like I listened to someone else other than me! Oh.. he is so Odd.

And me Even because I say ok to everyone and everything people ask or say. Example you ask me to do a favor and though you may be stranger to me I will do it for you! I never like to say no even to a stranger! argh! Me such a easy target!

Though Mr. Odd and Ms. Even are in love and truly fall for each other... There are so many obstacles for them to cross. The irony is.. they themselves are the obstacles! ;)